8/14/2020
I thought it would be good to get this segment of my blog started off
on the right foot. Here is a link I posted to a few mailing lists, some
Facebook groups, etc.:
It got a surprisingly (to me) good response. I guess it's good to be honest.
8/18/2020
HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAD!!!!!!!
You simply amaze me. I am so lucky to have you here!
I cherish all our talks, all our discussions, our life.
8/28/2020
The moon is reflecting across Puget Sound. There is a great horned owl
in a pine tree just down the bluff from our home. Classes at Columbia
start in a little over a week. I just finished watching a week of the
Republican National Convention (well, as much as I could stand), and the
incredible number of lies-per-unit-time was just mind-boggling.
And I think Trump might win, because IDIOTS WILL BELIEVE THAT CRAP!!!!!!!
I have a lot to write here, but I've been swamped with getting things
ready for classes, plus just general collapse. Columbia hasn't been
fun lately. I need to regain myself somehow. And not catch COVID-19.
9/7/2020
Classes start tomorrow. I think I'm ready. In fact. I think I may be
over-ready. If I'm over-prepared, sometimes things go south and the class
is bad. But sometimes it's really good! And sometimes when I'm not prepared
at all, it goes well, but then again... sometimes it's a disaster. So
here we go.
I had a nice zoom chat with Georg Haas a few hours ago. I've had a lot of
interest in my classes. Jill prepared a delicious dinner of salmon and wild
rice. After dinner I took these photos:
Why say this here? Why so blunt? "Hey, here they are."
I want to remind future-Brad that life was good. I've been
reading Umberto Eco's posthumously published book of essays
On the Shoulders of Giants
and many deal with the perception of the invisible, the ineffable, the sacred.
I feel that I touch it here, on Whidbey Island, imagining my life unfolding
somehow. It probably won't that way.
I showed Shai some videos I thought he might enjoy when
Shai/Itay/Lian were visiting this past weekend. I chose Peter Gabriel's
Sledgehammer
and Cyriak Harris'
Meow Mix
(the cat looks just like Xenon).
Shai laughed so hard he got the hiccups. It was wonderful!
"Grampop, they just sledgehammered a chicken egg!"
Life is soooo good.
9/16/2020
It's really been strange out here. I look at the pictures I posted in
my last text here, and then contemplate this one:
That's what the smoke blowing into Puget Sound from the western wildfires
has done. At least (least!) we're not in danger of the fires; some of
my friends are (Evy! Perry!). But they seem to be ok. I took this photo
after dinner tonight:
It's the first time I've been able to see 'Possession Point' (just
around the corner from us on the island) since more than a week ago.
Maybe now people will gain an understanding of how important
environmental issues are for us? Nah...
Classes are going well, I think. It's hard to tell. The Zoom interface
is constrictive, although I've discovered it's good for many pedagogical
aspects. Not so good for connecting with students, though. This
may be the future. Sitting out here on Whidbey, it's not too bad.
I feel oddly disconnected. And the election, oh the election.
9/17/2020
HAPPY BIRTHDAY JILL!!!!!!!
This one was one of those 'numbers' that we privilege in our counts.
And here we are! Jeez, it's impossible for me to write how much I
still love Jill. What a lucky, lucky guy I am.
9/20/2020
I'm sitting out on our 'lower' back deck, after a wonderful weekend.
Jill's birthday celebration could not have gone better, and we thought
it might be a total 'bust' given the weather/smoke/life-in-general
aspects. However, it was wonderful. We went on a
Northwest Trek
with Lian/Itay/Shai, and the experience was one of the best we've had.
The guide was a real 'animal keeper' hired by the Northwest Trek people,
and she was totally enveloped by her work. She communicated that
to us, and it was magical. Shai got to hear and elk call! Touch a
moose antler! These were not 'put on' things, either; they arose
from the trip we took.
A great dinner afterwards, take-out from
Canlis.
We'll be going there next weekend for a 'crab shack' dinner. It was
postponed from last weekend because of the smoke and hazardous
air quality.
And that's what was truly special about this weekend. Rain, wind, the
smoke has dissipated (for now). As I said, I'm sitting out in back,
and the lights of Puget Sound wink in the distance. For now, there
is peace. There is beauty. There is joy-in-life, in this moment, that
I didn't even realize I was missing. This is what I want
to protect, for my kids, my grandchildren, for the world, from
the horrible politics that are now playing out. I look up, I see
the stars. I hear owls hooting. The fire next to me is dancing.
This is wonderful. Happy New Year!
10/10/2020
There is almost too much to write these days. But much of what I
tend to write is merely reportage: I did this. Others did that. Then
the politics. Oh my goodness. Oh my.
Our current political insanity caused me to go back and re-read some
of my earliest blog posts. Trump received dexamethasone as part of
his anti-COVID therapy. This steroid makes you crazy! To
remind myself of just how crazy, I went back to read this entry:
and also this one:
A manic, psychotic Donald Trump. I doubt anyone sees any difference.
I read a few more entries around these two, and what struck me is how focused
they were. I had things to say! Big things! Now I talk about weather
conditions, blah blah. I think that's probably a good thing. I don't
really want to be "focused" like I was at the beginning of this
happy myeloma odyssey.
I did have a moderate epiphany moment today; something I haven't really
had for awhile. The weather was bizarre -- half the sky was cloudy/stormy,
the other half was blue with sunshine. Lightning flashing with
rolling peals of distant thunder in the dark portion, flocks of birds
wheeling through the clear air in the light. Somehow it all just seemed
very real, in a way I hadn't felt for awhile. It was cool. It
was autumn. The weight of it all, the sense of it. I had to go inside.
10/12/2020
I think I've mentioned this in my blog before, but I pretty much have music
running through my mind all the time. This past weekend (and now) it is
a particular passage from the rock 'opera' Quadrophenia by
The Who. I listened and listened and listened again to this
record over and over during my junior and senior year in high school.
I hear it now, and I partially become a high-school Brad, wondering
how life will be. Of course it wasn't what I imagined, but that
doesn't dull the sensation of time connected from then to now.
The particular passage happens towards the very end of the opera,
after much sound and fury, when suddenly everything clears away and
synth french-horns play a measured fanfare:
i imagined this -- in music -- was what it would be like
to achieve, that this
was what it would be like to accomplish, to reach the
goal. This was the sound of fulfillment, the clearing away
of procedural debris to reveal the reality of life. I loved that
virtual feeling. I still do.
Listen to those horns! The reverb that gives them weight! Can I be
the person for whom those sounds exist? What kind of music can I
make? I need to do more!
But at the same time I now know that those momentary time-points
only exist in a continuum, and that continuity is what makes life
complete. I've had a few occasions when that 'clearing away' seemed
tangible -- standing next to Jill during our wedding, walking out of
Dodge Hall for the first time after getting tenure at Columbia,
driving home from both Lian's and Daniel's birth. I hear that music
in my head, and I relive all of them.
11/5/2020
We're in the throes of the election. I have no idea how it will
turn out, but things are starting to look a little more optimistic
for Biden/Harris. I haven't written too much about our contemporary
politics here, partly because I am so aghast. I am disgusted that
about half of our country thought that Trump was doing a decent
job, and should be re-elected. Unbelievable. Unbelievable. And
he may still win.
Time continues.
sunrise.
sunset.
Time continues. I need to do more music. Classes have been good,
but intense.
11/18/2020
I feel adrift. I float, but without the sense of freedom that often
accompanies floating. The slowly-revealed joy of Biden/Harris winning
the election, then followed by the DISGUSTING ANNOYING STUPIDITY of
Trump and Associates, confounded by the dramatic escalation of
COVID cases, I don't know what to do. We've had cold, windy,
rainy, Puget-sound-like weather. Our roof has developed a small leak.
We're not even sure if we'll be able to see Lian/Itay/Shai in person
over the Thanksgiving Day holiday (and who-knows-when we can meet
with Daniel again, to say nothing of the rest of my family. I miss
you all!).
This all will pass, and hopefully we'll survive it. There is good
vaccine news, although we are still months away from the benefits
that will happen. I've started poking away at a new piece. The term
is almost ended. What shall we do, what shall we do.
12/7/2020
I'm not keeping up this blog like I should! I'm a LAZY bum! And I've missed
some important things to record here:
- We had a wonderful Thanksgiving, although we sorely missed being able
to see -- or look forward to seeing -- Daniel 'in person'. But Lian/Itay/Shai
did come out to Whidbey Island (we're sort of 'one household', so it
felt ok, COVID-wise).
- A big HAPPY BIRTHDAY to Itay, November 29.
- Congratulations to nephews Stefan and Bo on their new job opportunities!
- Classes are winding down well, for both me and Brenda.
- The election, oh the election. Maybe one of the reasons I don't
post as much here as I should is that too often I would be motivated
to write about our contemporary politics. I just hate Donald
Trump and his enablers, and I don't think that's a good sentiment to
fill these pages.
- Work seems to be going very well for Lian and Itay, even with the
pandemic raging. Lian gave a presentation on her work to the Board
of Directors at Amazon! (yes, that does include Smilin' Jeff!)
- There are many other things, big and small, that have been happening
in the past weeks. Can't think of 'em now.
- BUT... the BIG BIG news...
JILL AND I ARE GOING TO BE GRANDPARENTS AGAIN!!!!!!!
YES! The bold and underlined fonts are warranted! Lian and Itay made
the 'official' announcement to the family on Thanksgiving. She's due to
have a little girl on May 28. We asked Shai what he thought would be
a good name, and he replied promptly "baby girl sister". So there you have
it! Obviously, we're absolutely thrilled. Something for sure to blog
about.
I've also been remiss in not posting more photos here. I feel I need
to do this, because the sunrises/sunsets on Whidbey have been spectacular.
I know there's a redundancy in many of these pictures,
but I just like them. So there!
And then there's this:
12/11/2020
I'm gradually beginning to feel that "Christmas Spirit", hooray! Even
with COVID around, and Trump still forcing his way into the national
consciousness (but soundly losing, hooray-some-more!), I'm starting to think
back on all the wonderful past Christmases we've had.
I'm listening to my 'holiday' playlist,
we got our tree today, and I put the outside lights up last week.
Of course there's a theme. Baby Girl Sister coming! Here they are:
12/20/2020
Today is Lian's birthday!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY SWEETIE!!!!!!!
I recall scenes from that day, that night, the next day, thirty-four
years ago. Clear as crystal! They are there, forever.
12/21/2020
Solstice. Light. The slow return from darkness.
But this year I'm worried that 'the darkness' will prevail. I simply
cannot comprehend what people are believing about Trump and his
unending stream of baseless lies. Rational discussion is impossible.
I don't know what to say.
Bless us please, on this turnaround of darkness!
12/24/2020
Christmas Eve again, 2020. Jeez, what a year! I think I've fulfilled
the 'traditional' things to do on this night -- magical tinsel on the
tree for Shai to see tomorrow (trad. Lian and Daniel, of course), photos
of the tree, gifts all ordered or arrived, arranged. Listening to
Byzantine Music Of The Greek Orthodox Church: Hymns Of Christmas Eve,
sipping amaretto. Could be cloudberry liquor, but I'll save it for
tomorrow night. It seems more 'forward-looking'. It's newer.
I didn't have
any cloudberry liquor back in 2006(!), when I started this blog.
I certainly didn't imagine -- duh -- that I'd be looking out over
Puget Sound back then, or even just a few years ago. Here we are, though,
with the excitement of Shai, and new "Baby Sister" (Shai shortened his
name for her from "Baby Girl Sister") on the way!
This pandemic. Hopefully coming to some kind of end with the vaccines
now available. I think it affected me, affected all of us, more than
I have admitted. I hope we've learned a lesson, but I'm afraid we haven't.
But tonight and tomorrow are for good thoughts. Hopefully to continue
into the future. I didn't think I'd be here, and certainly not
here, but I am. We are. That's cause for rejoicing, or noels,
or a renewal of the Christmas spirit. Merry Christmas!
12/25/2020
MERRY CHRISTMAS! MERRY! MERRY!
12/27/2020
What a Christmas season this has been! Below are photos of the tree this
year. Note the number of packages underneath. Pandemics that prevent
relatives from visiting their 4-year-old grandson/nephew/etc. are good
for Amazon shopping.
Speaking of the grandson, it was a wonderful time with Shai/Lian/Itay.
We'll be back in Seattle with them for New Year's Eve, but the memories
from Christmas on Whidbey are still nice and glowing (and they
will be for some time!).
Shai got his first 'two-wheeler' bike! With training wheels, of course,
but he'll be off and running on his own soon, I'm sure. Watching him
start out made me realize that things we take for granted, like the
difference between "pedaling forward" and "pedaling backwards". These have
to be learned. And Shai did, quickly! He's a guy on the go!
And while Jill was working to get him dressed one morning (he prefers
to run around in the nude), he turned to her and said very seriously:
"Grandma, I'm going to challenge your authority."
So many other stories and memories! Talking with Daniel, zooming with
the family, the joy of the season. I need to keep all this, somehow.
Here's the tree:
12/31/2020
New Year's Eve again. I'm feeling sort-of sadly nostalgic. Not for
2020, this has been a pretty awful year. There were good things,
but all were shadowed by the horror of Trump's America, made
particularly manifest in the coronavirus pandemic. We have a lot of
work ahead of us -- good work, I hope.
No, the sadness is more a general awareness of the passing of the
season, the passing of time. I let far too much of my life be colored
by my hatred of things this year. I tried not too spill too much of
my internal bile over into this blog, and the result was fewer entries!
"But.. but... but..." I think, and off I go to my internal scream-land,
my anger at what has happened to the world boiling over inside me.
It has been wonderful to spend time with my family, although we
truly missed Daniel. With the vaccine coming we all hope we can see
him again soon. And new "Baby Sister" (Shai has now shortened his
name for her) on the way! There are indeed wonderful things happening.
My nostalgia-sadness compounds when I should be appreciating them more.
Here's to a BETTER FUTURE! ALWAYS!
I did finish this yesterday:
And here, taken with my new iPhone (thanks kids!),
the gloaming
at the end of the year:
1/1/2021 -- next page
