8/18/2019
HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAD!!!!!!!
Wow, eighty-six years old. Born in 1933. And still going strong.
What an absolutely amazing father Brenda and I have.
And I successfully compiled my four VR locations together, so I have
'officially' met my sabbatical goal. Yay team. Now to fix all the small
bugs, and get back to Real Life (like, , writing more in this
blog!).
8/26/2019
I'm heading back to New York tomorrow. Yesterday I managed to build
(and run) the latest version of my VR app ("myplaces") for Oculus
VR, Windows and Macintosh standalone. This one does indeed have
four 'locations' (eight Unity scenes in all), so I managed to achieve --
just barely! -- my sabbatical goal. I have no idea if it's any good,
not being all that familiar with much contemporary VR work. I
like the music, though, and I had a blast building it. Intense
work, but fulfilling.
I'm feeling a strong combination of nervous anticipation/melancholy
right now. Whidbey is truly glorious, and I'll really be missing
Jill. And Shai!!!! Being able to spend time with him and Lian and
Itay is a real 'gift' (shai!). I am looking forward to seeing
Daniel in Helsinki in a few weeks, and of course we'll all be together
for Stefan and Alison's wedding at the end of September.
I hope all goes well at Columbia this year. At least I have things
to teach, and I'm excited by the possibilities. It will be
strange being alone in NY.
9/1/2019
I'm back in New York. In a strange way, I feel more alone here than
I did on Whidbey Island after Jill left last year. Part of it had to
do with Xenon being there, but another part had to do with the fact
that I knew I was isolated out there, but here I'm surrounded by people.
People I don't know. I'll be re-engaged with Columbia and
the CMC soon (and I've already had some good times with friends
Ben and Seth), but in the meantime I work on my own in our apartment.
I've spent a weekend here by myself. Odd, although I spent many days
here alone in the past, it was always with the knowledge that
the weekend would be spent with Jill -- either here or (more
likely) in Roosevelt. But here I am.
I walked up to the Cloisters:
and I went up to the roof after dinner:
We have good sunsets here, too.
9/16/2019
I was planning to write -- once again -- about how insanely busy
I've been, classes starting, presentations given (people see to
like the VR app!), administrative stuff happening, tomorrow I
leave for Helsinki to be an
'opponent'
for a doctoral thesis defense (yes, it does indeed say I wear a hat +
tails!), Stefan and Alison's wedding coming up, how I never have time
to write this blog, no time to think, no time ...
but I was downloading some music to listen to on the flight tomorrow,
and Sheryl Crow had released a new album. I figured: what the heck, it
will be some fun listening and might help pass the time. I'm about
50/50 on most of her music, but I generally enjoy what she does.
Then along comes this song:
It hit me the same way her piece Safe and Sound from her
fourth album, C'mon, C'mon did. I don't link that song here
(I talk about it in my first book-app, written during 2001), because
the version of Safe and Sound that knocked me down was what she
sang on one of those godawful 'all star tribute' shows immediately
following 9/11. I cried. And I cried tonight, hearing Redemption Day.
Yeah, it's maudlin and surely programmed to hit my buttons, but music has this
power. I feel, I feel. My heart expands beyond words. Oh, the world.
9/17/2019
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY SWEETIE-PIE!!!!!!!
What adventures we've had! And more to come!!!!!!!
9/18/2019
I'm back in Helsinki. This is now the fifth or sixth trip I've made here,
and I'm experiencing that strange layering of memory that happens as
you revisit a location sporadically. Things seem familiar, but they
are still 'foreign'. Japan, Portugal, Greece, Seattle (now changing
because of extended living-there) -- all these places I never, ever
imagined I would be inhabiting. Yet over the years they have become
a big part of our (family) story.
The layers of memory precipitate, forming a sedimentary object that
becomes a part of the construction of my life. The memories shift
and change as they get compacted, but they're all still there.
Watching Daniel walk away down Pohjolankatu street into his new
life is still as fresh as that autumn day when it happened.
9/24/2019
It was mid/late-October in Helsinki. Fall comes earlier over there. The
days were crisp, even the ones with rain. Now I'm back in New York, and
the trees across the Hudson on the Palisades are just beginning to
turn. Yesterday was actually HOT when I arrived. Now back to the rhythms
of school.
It all went really well in Finland. Both the defense and my talk
were good, and Daniel seems to be happy. He's so grown up! Our
children! I took bursts of pictures now and then. I'll have to post
a few here when I'm a bit more settled. Still one more big
weekend looms: next Saturday night I'm to be the "officiant" for
nephew Stefan and Alison's wedding. Time is rolling along.
10/13/2019
Fall fell quickly this year. September was bizarrely warm, and when the
temperatures shifted to more autumnal temperatures it seemed to hit
hard. To be sure, September was pretty much a blur. So much going on!
Last weekend was the Big Wedding (yes!) for Nephew Stefan and (new)
Niece-in-law Alison. As mentioned just above, I did the 'officiating' --
I'm now an ordained minister recognized in the State of Connecticut.
Lemme hear ya say HALLELUJAH!
The wedding went really well. The weather was perfect, and it was
an ideal occasion to get our family all together. Jill/Lian/Itay/Shai
came out from Boston, and Daniel was here from Finland, too. Two weeks
of Daniel! Oh we had fun.
Classes have been intense, but there is a real excitement around
the CMC again. I'm really enjoying teaching, although I'm working
hard to get things together with the Unity/RTcmix stuff. I've also
attending my friend Dave Sulzer's CMC class
Music, Math and Mind
because I've wanted to be involved for awhile, and now is a good chance.
We're also low on composition faculty in the Department this year due
to various faculty leaves. Lessons, reports, presentations, visitors, etc.
It keeps on going.
Looking out our windows across the Hudson to the Palisades, the trees
are just beginning to turn. I see them, and I believe I can
see the future. That's not true, though.
11/1/2019
The last two weeks have been a blur, and not a good one. I got waylaid
by a bad sinus infection, and the resulting perceptual weirdness from
the over-the-counter medications and the sinus pressure in my head
has made everything unpleasantly surreal. I'm still getting over it,
but feeling much better. But that surrealness persists.
I'm out in Indiana for the Columbia "election day holiday", the two
days-off given each November as a concession to the student radicals
at the University back in the late 1960's. Go out and be
politically active! As if we could help but BE politically active
now.
The trip here was indeed surreal, even without the residual head-cold. A
line of seriously bad thunderstorms impacted flights from Newark
airport to the west. I spent a lovely(!) six hours cooling my
heels at EWR while my flight kept getting delayed and delayed.
Eventually I got here, and I'm enjoying the recuperation via retreat
into remembered childhood. Hopefully my head will be back to normal
soon.
Before I left, I was asked to give a talk to the
Columbia Undergraduate Scholars Program.
My Columbia colleague and Director of the CUSP program,
Lavinia Lorch.
gave an amazing introduction. It was the first time I'd met her, and
she had done quite a job of finding out things about my life.
Fortunately I think my presentation went well -- I didn't want to
disappoint after such a wonderful welcome!
So I'm here, once again Back Home Again, trying to get caught up with
all the things I let slide while moaning and flopping around the apartment
in New York. Yikes, the semester is almost done.
11/6/2019
I just returned from Indiana. It was a really nice visit. When I go
back there anymore, I don't feel the strong pull of nostalgia that
I did when I was younger. We were riding around seeing the
"Exhibit Columbus"
displays (not so compelling this year, we thought), and we drove by
my friend Pat Kennedy's old home. Pat was my closest friend in High School,
along with Geoff Pacheco. We had a band,
Vindication,
that became central to our teen-age lives. Pat's house was within
walking distance of the school, and every afternoon we would hike
to his home to rehearse/compose/create/enjoy our music.
I thought seeing Pat's home would kick the nostalgia into high gear,
but it really didn't. When we left Roosevelt, I thought it would be
fraught with time-awareness and a melancholia rooted in the closing
of a significant portion of our lives. It wasn't. Flying out of
Newark on this trip, the clouds below were ragged, affording glimpses
of New Jersey as we traveled west. I looked down, and the pang of
past-time-lost was not strong. Instead it was: "hmmmm, we used to live
there. Now we don't."
I suspect that this is because I've now lived long enough to realize
that change, flux and flow are the natural conditions of life.
Of course, we pretend that there is a solidity, and in some respects
there is, but I've also observed that change can lead to different,
often new, certainly interesting experiences. I'm a New York guy
for now! Life on Whidbey is wonderful! And Shai! Daniel/Lian/Itay!
Nephew Stefan is married to Alison! On and on...
Jill sent the following photo from Whidbey while I was in Indiana:
I know that scene. I've been there. I shot the short video below walking
around our lake in Indiana. The wind blows, the leaves fall, the seasons
turn. As they should.
click to play
11/29/2019
Happy Thanksgiving! One day late, but time when I'm out here becomes
more fluid. For some reason, I seem to be more aware of its flow during
this particular visit. I suspect it's because of the intellectual growth
I'm seeing in Shai, plus Jill now being here full-time (and I'm
the visitor!).
Shai's at that wonderful age where things are being sorted in
his brain. I really enjoy much of what occurs... he's terrific
with most all of his words, and his vocabulary is going faster
than anything Chomsky might have imagined. But I love that the
chorus to one of his favorite songs goes "We all live in a lellow
submarine, lellow submarine, lellow submarine." Yes I know as
an english-speaker he will be corrected, but "lellow" is so...
cute!
His logic, of course, is strangely strong. Yesterday he came downstairs
completely nude, escaping from Jill who was trying to get him ready
for the day. I said "Shai! Why are you naked?" He replied: "Because
I have no clothes on!". My followup: "Why do you have no clothes on?"
Shai: "Because I'm naked!" Well duh, Grampop. Also, it wasn't "naked"
it was "nakeded", which makes some sort of transitive sense.
But the one that I dearly cherish is his labelling of building sites
when we drive by them: "Look at all the instruction equipment! And
there's the instruction workers!" The reciprocal confusion is
telling Jill she could easily assemble a complicated toy "because
you have the constructions!"
I love the notion that those of us -- a good part of my family -- in
academia are 'instruction workers'. I could seriously use some
heavy 'instruction equipment' for some of my students. I want
a semantic bulldozer!
What a great holiday. Back in NYC soon for a few more weeks, then
out here for the intersession. The instruction equipment needs
some overhauling.
11/30/2019
I'm not sure why my sense of time passing is so potent on this visit.
As I said in the above post, perhaps it's Shai's growth, or maybe it's
Jill's being here full-time. Even Xenon the cat reminds me that
we're finite. He'll be nearly twenty years old when I fully retire
myself, given the projected schedule.
My last appointment (last week) with Dr. Pearse
was fine, even though for some reason my left foot has been bugging
me. Blah blah blah. These everyday physical things seem to reinforce
that finitude. Idiot me. I'll get over it, I'm sure.
In the meantime, I'm trying to disengage from those things that
do bug me, and concentrate on All That Good Stuff. I'm very,
very lucky. For me, there's a decent amount if it. Happy Holiday
Season!
12/19/2019
My goodness! The holidays are here! The term has ended well. Student
projects were over-the-top! I'm amazed at the talents and abilities
of the people I teach and work with. This was one of the most intense
semesters I've had in awhile. Great stuff, though.
Wonderful visit with Brenda/John and the boys. More to say about
the concert we saw that Saturday night, later.
I've got a lot
planned for the break. Plus.. I'm here in Seattle! Yay! Tonight
we're going in to stay with Shai, and Daniel arrives (YAY!!!!) this
coming Monday. The cliché: Life is Good.
We arrived earlier in the week, and the next morning this was my
'welcome back to Whidbey' sunrise:
We also have most of the decorations up for the season. Here are few views
of the outdoor lights:
Explanation: From what we've observed, South Whidbey has a 'heritage'
(if fifty-some years since the late 1960's can be called
a 'heritage') of old
hippiedom. Jill had a interesting ride to the airport with a self-described
"energy empath" as the Uber driver. She (the driver)
apparently has prevented
accidents in her driving career by channeling the proper energy flows.
So I thought: "Hey, I'll get in on some of thet energy flow action!"
The lights are intended to emit mystical photonic radiation that will
saturate our bluff to keep it from washing away and sending our home
sliding down into Puget Sound. This will counteract the minor
earthquakes we've been feeling (two of 'em). All will be good.
I can feel it! Go lights, go.
12/20/2019
Today is LIAN'S BIRTHDAY!!!!!!! We had great fun singing
"Happy Birthday" this morning, with Shai looking like a very
happy boy. Thirty-three year ago. Wow. I believe that I have
said this before in this blog: I didn't realize it would be
like this. And by this I mean so much better
than I could possibly have imagined. As I said in the above
post: Life is Good!
12/23/2019
Happy Day after the Winter Solstice! Or maybe two days. I'm never
quite sure if it's the 21st or 22nd of December. I kind of like
the 21st. So there. Plus Daniel arrives today! Plus we get to
see Lian/Itay/; new home! Great holiday times ahead, I
predict.
12/24/2019
Here I am, thirteen years after starting this blog, listening once again to
Greek Orthodox chants from Mt. Athos
for Christmas Eve and sipping some amaretto.
My little Christmas Eve ritual after all the gifts have been stashed
under the tree and my photos have been taken (see here in the
next few days). I'm not having any Big Deep Thoughts, but that's
perhaps good. I'm just enveloped in the quiet joy of being with my
family, here on Whidbey Island (for goodness sake!). I say again:
do not underestimate the fundamental randomness of life.
That random operation can be good. Yes. I look out over
Puget Sound, imagining Shai's reaction to the Santa Claus
visit, and it certainly is good. Note to future Brad: when things
go bad -- and they probably will at some point -- remember this.
Yes.
12/25/2019
M E R R Y
C H R I S T M A S ! ! ! ! ! ! !
(and a very Merry one it was indeed!)
12/27/2019
Photos of the Christmas Tree, taken Christmas Eve shortly after
Santa's visit:
1/1/2020 -- next page
