"Dan's Toys" program note I have long been entranced by the ambiguous clarity and concise structural complexity of the writings of neo-childist poets such as Walt Disney and Theodore Geisel. While recently perusing the 'objet' archives in the Daniel Garton Toybox, I came across a multi-media presentation of the following poem (I believe the title is "Utterances from 'Toy Story'"): Howdy, pardner My name's Woody You're my favorite deputy Yee-haw, cowboy There's a snake in my boot! The poem was digitally recited by an elaborately-constructed facsimile of the main character in the famous "Toy Story" epic. I was captivated by the elegant conflation of sound and image in this presentation, and decided to write a piece based on my experience of the poem. I have attempted to meld the semantic aspects with the syntactic and phonological details of the recitation, using every known and possible signal-processing algorithm to realize the final composition. I was also fortunate enough to receive a generous grant from the Jill Lipoti Foundation, and (after gaining appropriate permissions from the curators of the Daniel Garton archives) I will be able to display many of the original artifacts used to produce the source sounds I used for this piece, including the rare "Woody" doll that served as my inspiration. The piece was created by exploiting known holes in the Unix, Macintosh and Windows95/NT operating systems and stealing CPU cycles from all computers currently connected to the internet.